The YESO! Invasion

First, I would like to thank God for always blessing every single one of my days in Ibadan with humour. I shudder to think of what could have happened had boredom gotten the better of me.
Now to the story of the day.
On tuesday, after returning from school (around 2pm), I didn’t meet anyone at home. Now, I have 7 co-tenants (as in, 7 different families) and a landlady (mama), so you must understand the strangeness of not meeting anyone at home. No Iya Ayo or Mama Favour (the full-time housewives who are always busy chatting), no Lara or Labake (lazy students whose schools are perenially on break). Not even Aunty?? And aunty is never far away from her recharge card kiosk in front of the house.
What was happening?
My first thought was that the local health center was distributing free mosquito nets (again) or some other free stuff. But then, Mama Bolu was washing in the next compound (and mama Bolu never misses free stuff). I assumed hunger was what was affecting my cranial capacity. Maybe I was imagining things. So I ate. When I got even more confused, I did what I do when I get confused – I slept.
Around 5pm, I was roused from sleep by the noise of some people shouting. I felt relieved that my co-tenants were around. Perhaps I was imagining stuff afterall.

But this shouting was louder than normal (yep, shouting is normal where I live).
I went downstairs, only to see Uncle John shouting too. Now, uncle John is a very pleasant man who never insults anyone. When uncle John didn’t return my salutations, I knew that stuff just got real.
What could the matter be? After intense prodding, I found out that YESO! guys ( Environmenral sanitation officers similar to KAI in Lagos) had come to arrest everyone at home that morning and that they were presently on bail. (Mehn, I was seriously praising God for not letting me miss school that day)
I found out that the cause of the problem was a bush growing beside the compound. Apparently, the YESO! Guys thought the bush harboured pests or some other dangerous stuff and they arrested them for letting the bush grow to such levels. As they were ranting and lamenting, all I could say was “e pele o!” “Ah, eeya, o ma se o!”, “this people are just wicked, kilode?!” (And I was laughing inside o! God forgive me.)
Trust Yoruba people, they started ‘swearing for’ all their ‘bad belle’ neighbours who went to report them to YESO! Azzin seriously conc. curses.
When I suggested that we contribute money to pay people to cut the grass, they looked at me like I had just insulted Shango. I heard murmurs of “awon alakowe yi sha…”.
I learnt Mama (the landlady) wasn’t arrested, but she had to part with N1,500.
The next day (Wednesday), the house was almost deserted. Lol, everyone had vanished. Me sef lock up for inside.
If not for my stupid noise-making fan, Uncle John may not have known I was inside. Anyways, he started banging on my door and said we should go and cut grass. Even though I had never cut grass in my life, I obliged. How hard could it be? (Nor be just to hold cutlass and swing the thing? :D) Anyway, I assisted where I could. Iya Ayo and Mama Favour also hoed here and weeded there. Only four of us worked that day. Everyone was mysteriously absent. Even mama who always came by 6:30am came by 3pm. Well, I did what little I could and went back to my room. (Mi o le waku).
So, I learnt from uncle John yesterday, that the YESO! Guys would return today to inspect the environment.
So Today, I woke up extra early this morning for CDS (the early worm catches the fattest bird. Yep, I think that’s how it goes). No harm in going early. After CDS sef, I decided to go to school. The VP said I could go home, I told her I wanted to give my students extra notes. Yep, I don’t want them to lag at all. I’m serious like that. School closed by 2pm, I stayed till 3:30 explaining some things to some serious students. Yep, I’m serious like that.
Nothing interesting really happened in school today, except when I tried explaining the function of the nucleus in the cell. I said the nucleus controlled all the functions of the cell and I asked sodeeq to tell me the organ in his body that controls all his body’s activities. He said his… (Well, I won’t say what he said here.) and he was dead serious. Mehn, the whole class erupted. I was like 😮 ??? Are you serious? I was as surprised then, as you are now.
An SS1 boy o!

PS: I don’t know yet if the YESO! People visited today. Will update you later.

Thank you for visiting 😀
Check out the pictures of cut grass below. (I apologize for the poor quality. Crappy network didn’t allow higher quality uploads)