Guest Post: Experiences of an Ilorin Kopa (Kwara State)

*This post is by a serving corps member in Kwara State.

Enjoy.
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Having finished from the university of Ibadan, and knowing the people that I know, I never thought I’d be posted to anywhere but Lagos or Oyo state (or New York, if you are allowed to serve outside ‘blessed’ motherland). News flash, I was posted to (spits word out) Jigawa. Like really! How many of you guys even remember that state unless reciting the state and capital (those are states you even miss out while reciting).
Camp life was however wonderful, (rolls eyes) I have decided to only see d positives, and not the killer sun, and the lack of good, quality garri, and lack of cold water; the list runs on. But at least I met Omolayo after a handful camp flings #winks and also got to be closer with a colleague from school that hitherto was a ‘hi’ pal and also (scratches head to think of something nice to say about camp), well just manage those two.
I decided to redeploy back to Oyo state not minding the ‘goodness’ of Dutse. Nysc however showed me it’s not my ‘decision’ to make by deflecting me to Kwara instead (rolls eyes). That, my people, is the worst thing anyone can do to you, compelling you to live in kwara.
First of all (listens for choruses of ‘go down low’), Ilorin is hotter than Dutse to my own assessment, and this city is not shy to show it. Also, the garri here is worse, yes I said it, bite me, in fact, it’s ‘worst’ than Jigawa’s and Jigawa’s garri is 3 part sand 1 part garri (hard to beat shey? Tot so too). Another thing about this town is the sick transportation system. Let’s assume points A and E are on a straight line, and points B, C and D are in between, like the rough sketch I made. Anywhere you drop is 50 naira, so if you drop on your way home ten times, you are paying 500 naira even if it’s like from Ojoo to UI. This fact reduces the tendency of you dropping on your way home to visit friends I swear. IbadanKopa is always looking for new and more poetic ways of dissing my dear federal republic of Ibadan, but I’ll gladly trade place with him and even pay him my 19.8 thousand monthly if he agrees to the deal. I was not paid my allowee for my first four months in Ilorin, my ppa (govt day junior sec sch, Tanke) does not pay any corper and the state government doesn’t seem to know we exist. So, in your free period, whilst you lie on your bed (or mat ‘no discrimination here) think of how NYSC expected me to survive with absolutely nothing for 4 months and I compulsorily went to PPA and CDS o. That aside, NYSC kwara also has the most gruesome, cruel and time consuming clearance method, coupled with the fact that the clearance day is not fixed ( impromptu), I guess you see that here is fun (close to tears).
Despite all these sha, Ilorin is just 2hrs from home (leaving that statement ambiguous so I go fit defend am with NYSC). And also, just got this game house with the hi-pal friend I told you of, who was also redeployed here (instead of the Ekiti that he chose). We have PS2 and table soccer (foosball) and just today, 2parents have been here to beat their wards out (evil people; they are hampering sales). A teacher also came to say we shouldn’t let students in (I just did my ‘moju’ you don’t pay me in school and you still expect me to send customers away), for my mind I was like come and carry me and send them now. Small time principal will be asking how the students leave school during school hours, see our school second gate and fence after the cut and your guess is as good as mine.
Well, lemme drop my loving pen (as una dey call am when writing love letters; I know). And by the way, the pen is about the only thing the school has given me. I blog from xgentleman.wordpress.com please drop by and inspire me to write more. And if you guys need more details about Ilorin, paste a comment, will gladly reply, especially to the to-be-posted new corpers (I pray you get lucky enough not to come here). Kisses and kisses again #winks.

I hope Ibadankopa leaves the kisses part o,’Eye arm ear toe half fun and he nose’

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