I am an Eko kopa. *pausing for the wave of distaste and beef to subside*. Having judged me, may I state for the record that I actually went to Sokoto state for three weeks of orientation (or hell, whichever word you prefer), during which I was labelled wayward by everyone at camp, for having my BB stolen (injury+insult, a wonderful combo). Alas, I digress. If that doesn’t soften your heart however, I, dear reader, judge YOU.
For all intents and purposes, I “work” at Eti-osa LGA III. “Work” is leaving home with the intention of getting to the office early enough to sign in, which ends at 11am.
In LGA lingo, this means you should arrive before the person with the attendance book. Thus, 12:30 is sometimes before 11am. Time warping. Intriguing stuff.
You’re also required to have at least ten signatures (i.e ten days you came to “work”) between the 7th and somethingth of the month to qualify for having your clearance signed.
As you can see, I haven’t really memorized the constitution because I have a super weapon. *Cue music and fog* *narrator’s voice* ” Enter Mr Osifo. The 4 ft plus Colossus that strides the pot holed and wooden walled grounds of the local government with confidence, sending corps members cowering when he speaks to escape his wrath and spittle”
Favoured corpers like yours truly (who coincidentally doesn’t have an office) are considered worthy to seat in the revered wooden sanctum that is his office and compare our phones, tidbits of gossip,and plans for world domination.
Those who aren’t as lucky have to go to their own offices to sleep till its two o’ clock; sign-out time. Unlike those of us in the hub, they don’t get to watch day after day,doughnut after doughnut from the jolly Ms Doe, Mr Osifo flaying some poor corper who dares to come seeking a request letter, or other favor.
They’re not fit for the honorable task of laughing at all Mr Osifo says, because it’s far easier to just laugh than having to search your heart for which were actually funny, thus risking his wrath. We get the opportunity of pitying the naive or stingy ones who commit the taboo of forgetting to “see” him after allowee has been paid.
Thus serve us our country, day by day, the coveted children of the government. Now I must get back to “work”.
Thank you for reading, thanks to Dolapo for having me, I’m honored. I blog lots more drivel at hapygypsy.blogspot.com . Drop by and drop a comment, Merci.
Adventures of an Ibadan Kopa 